Talking it Through
by carling
Summary: Kirsten and Sandy go to Couples Counselling post season 2.
1. It's not that easy

_**Okay here is my second fanfic. I'm going to try one based around couples therapy and how they deal with everything that has happened in season 2 right from the beginning. Basically I've taken notes while watching each episode again about what happened and how they seemed to feel and added a little bit of my own creative flair into it all, hope you like it!**_

**Talking it through**

**It's not that easy**

Sandy strode towards the pristine, white office lavishly furnished with the latest Danish furniture with Kirsten in tow. Kirsten had been at rehab for 3 weeks now and through her deep sessions with her therapist she had finally exposed herself and it had been obvious that her actions had been her coping mechanism for the issues with her husband and father. With her father dead now, the only option he had was to propose couples therapy so that she could finally talk with him about whatever problems they had and only then would she be able to get on the road to full recovery. Her hand in his was shaking slightly more each step they took closer to the glass door, knowing that on the other side they were finally going to talk. She knew that they were eventually going to talk about the past year, she just had envisioned it not involving a third person to help them.

"Kirsten? Honey? We can do this. Don't worry; it's going to help you get better."

_Better._ It still was hard for her to recognise that she had a problem. _Problem._ There, she couldn't even admit that she was an alcoholic. All these thoughts were whirring around her head but still in the past three weeks she had barely been able to string together more than two sentences at a time without falling silent once again. She knew she had shut herself out again, it was how she coped. _Coped._ Coped with what though? The fact that she was an alcoholic, the fact that she had hurt her husband and father, the fact that they both had hurt her too or the fact that she had hurt her sons. _All of them_ a voice answered back. It was time to talk.

* * *

"Hi, Kirsten, Sandy. I'm Dr. Simmons and I'll be your therapist for these sessions. Now I see you've signed up for ten to start and then it is up to you whether or not you need to continue. I hope that you will participate fully in these as it has been recognised that this will greatly improve Kirsten's recovery. Just remember, we are here because you have issues, whether or not you are ready to admit to them, and they need sorting out for both of your benefits. Well, take a seat and we'll begin now shall we?"

Sandy glanced over towards his wife, Kirsten. Her face was withdrawn and blank, his mind strained as he tried to remember when it was happy. Truly happy, he corrected himself. It had seemed that for months and months she had plastered on her face like every other Newpsie and carried on life like nothing had happened. His mind wandered back to one time in the Cohen kitchen. _"Denial is a very effective coping mechanism"_ Life was so much happier then. You would never know that this was the same family, same marriage as then. Things had changed, people had come in and out and now they were here, in couples's therapy because of it. Sandy would never have picked that his marriage would be the one that needed saving. Sure they had been in tiny ruts before but they had easily gotten over those once they had realised. But this, this was something different. They had stopped communicating. They both had unresolved issues but their lives carried on right on top and they seemed to get lost below, almost forgotten but still there.

"Well, seeing the two of you are not ready to begin, I'll have to start off for you. So Kirsten, when did this begin?" The therapist enquired, realising the work that was needed to be done in this case. He recognised the love for one another but there was something in between it, a wall.

She realised this wasn't going to fix itself, that she wasn't going to just fix herself. She needed Sandy's help and that was only going to be possible if she opened up, something she hadn't done for over a year; too long. But she tried to let the words come out but they couldn't. She tried to let them flow but all they did was swarm around her head in a large wave, crashing around. Images flashed through her mind as the past events of the years replayed from the summer without the boys, their return, her father's case, Lindsay; her half sister, Rebecca, her rings, Carter, the crash, and then her father. A flood of tears began to stream down her face and she ran for the door quickly escaping Sandy's hold and running, running, running. Running away from her problems, running away from her husband, running away from her hope of reforming.

_**Okay there is just a taster, I'm working on the next chapter so look forward to it this time tomorrow hopefully if I don't give in and post it tonight! I tried to get her to speak but I realised how hard it would be and just couldn't let her. Sorry!**_


	2. Here she was again

**_Wow thanks for all the reviews, I never thought that many people would read it! Well here I go on my next chapter – I have my notes in front of me and The O.C Mix 1 for inspiration (to get them back to how they were in the first season) and I am ready to get Kirsten to talk! I hope you enjoy it!_**

**Here she was again**

Kirsten found herself, once again, being dragged down the hall just like the day before. Sandy's grip was more in control than yesterday and his worried expression showed his hope for her to open up. He could feel her bony hand within his, shaking, afraid of what was going to happen this time. She knew that she could no longer run. Once was acceptable, they couldn't expect her to open up right away but she knew that from now on she needed to cooperate. She needed to do this, for herself, her recovery and most of all, her marriage.

Once again, Sandy pulled open the glass doors and emerged him and Kirsten in the plush room where the awaiting doctor sat anxiously hoping that she would stay in the room for the full 1 hour today. The doctor noticed both looks on Sandy and Kirsten's face; they were both anxiousness. She was anxious to what would be said and likewise he was anxious to what would be said. She had sat on these feelings, these emotions, for over a year while Sandy knew that they were there, he never realised how deep they were, he thought that once Rebecca had gone that everything had nearly gone back to normal. _What a horrible husband I am. _He thought to himself as he watched the pain Kirsten had endured come to the top as she finally sunk into the chair. He took a chair beside, thankful for the fact that there wasn't a couch, he wasn't sure that he wanted to be sharing one with his wife when she was about to explain how much he hurt her. He wanted to comfort her but just wanted to avoid bodily injuries at all costs.

"Well from your little escape yesterday, it is obvious Kirsten that this is not going to be easy for you but it did show me that these issues are serious enough and daunting enough to force you to leave a room to try and escape from them. I am here to help you escape from them for good, by talking about them and eventually sorting them out, it is my job to do that. Well why don't you start when it all began" The doctor urged her to speak, hoping that his standard speech showed enough sincerity to will her to open up.

Kirsten took a sharp breath in before she let out her first sentence, the first sentence in over a year that was related to how she really felt. In a whisper she began.

"Last summer… last summer the boys… they left. I was already distraught knowing that Ryan was leaving my life with no indication for how long and then the departure of my son Seth made it all the more hard to comprehend. I knew that he had finally found a friend in Newport, one that had lead him to make more friends, but I realised that he felt that without Ryan, he would live his life before him; alone. I love him so much and the thought of him out in the vast ocean made my stomach churn every time and I so to cope I separated myself from everyone, including Sandy."

His eyes had been focused on the fidgeting of his hands all while she had made her speech, the hurt in her eyes too much for him to take, until she had spoken his name. He glanced into those eyes that used to have so much joy, and he recognised that she blamed herself. She blamed herself for something which no one could take the blame for. The breakdown of their marriage could be attributed to a wide range of people and events; not to a single person and certainly not to Kirsten.

"Okay. Now carry on." Dr. Simmons insisted.

"All through the summer when the boys were away I ignored Sandy. Seth became an angry teenager and refused to come home. He would hang up on me during our phone calls and it got to the point once when we wouldn't even talk to me. Sandy had always been the one close to Seth. They were so alike with their humour, Jewish ness and interests, I was always the odd one out so it hurt me even more when Sandy let him stay in Portland and stayed friends with him. It seemed that I was always that strict, unforgiving mother while Sandy was his best friend. I just killed me to think that my own son hated me while he still looked up to his father as a friend more than anything." Kirsten recounted, keeping a constant check on the pitch and tone of her voice, making sure that she didn't sound too upset or too forceful, but she realised that she wouldn't be able to fully express her feelings if she didn't let her emotion show through, she didn't want to sound monotonous.

Sandy gasped at the thought that just because he and Seth looked alike and talked in the same manner that they were closer than she and Seth were. He knew that Seth adored his mother in was that could not be described with words, he had often told him in their deep conversations while sailing.

"You and Seth are just as close as I am with him. Because we have the same appearance it doesn't mean…."

Sandy was interrupted by the doctor demanding that he let Kirsten carry on. He didn't want to halt her train of thoughts. Indicating that she should continue, she carried on from where she left off.

"Finally a few days before the beginning of school, the boys returned home and I was overjoyed. I had both Ryan and Seth back in my life and I was hoping that everything would go back to normal. But while they were away, I had taken my anger of their departure out on Sandy, he was the only one I knew who would live with it. And so I stopped communicating with him. I blamed him for letting the boys go and not demanding that they stay. We both had been brought up in opposite environments and he used his hippy parenting psycho babble and just let them stay away from us. I just don't get it. I was brought up here in Newport and so I know how everything works, I don't see why we couldn't just drag Seth back. Sandy said something along the lines about him running back if we forced him home and he had to make the choice to return but all I thought was that once we got him home I'm never letting him out of my sight again."

The doctor paused her and questioned. "So, the reason this all began was because of your sons' departures?"

"I suppose yes, it was. But because I hadn't been communicating with Sandy for 3 months, it wasn't easy to revert. A week later our relationship was still strained and while we tried, we never got back to where we were. I remember how we were getting renovations done and the architect had got the wrong beam and Sandy flipped out at him and I demanded him to go and apologise how he said he was sick to death of putting himself on the line for this family and getting nothing and he was done with it. This shocked and upset me so much as I thought it was to do with out marriage and how I had taken it out on him. This was when we began to make up and I went and apologised and we cleared up how he wasn't talking about me and I apologised for my actions during the summer and how sorry I was for taking my anger out on him. I knew I wasn't the easiest person to live with over last summer but I just missed the boys so much, I was so upset and alone and I drove away that one person who could stop me from feeling that way."

Sandy who had kept quiet the whole time felt a tear trickle down his cheek as Kirsten made a comment towards him in a positive way. These little terms and comments about how much they loved the other person had been absent in their marriage for so long, it felt weird to Sandy's ears to hear them again. His eyes met with Kirsten's and he urged her to continue.

"Our relationship was still strained and tense at times but it was getting better and I did think that soon it would return to normal. My father was arrested then and Sandy stepped in and became his attorney. I knew that was a big step for him and I appreciated it so much, his helped kept my father out of jail, but up until the case was cleared, I was so worried that he was going to spend his last years of his life in a prison cell. Soon enough, as I expected, our relationship was back to normal apart from the physical aspect. We have always been a physical couple; our son Seth once said that we had always been 'at it' like teenagers and I suppose there is an element of truth in that. I missed that part, the kisses Sandy would sneak in when he thought that no one was watching, the kisses he would sneak in when he knew people were watching and the kisses when he didn't care whether people were watching or not."

"Well if everything apart from that was back together, what made it get so much worse?" The doctor enquired, willing the conversation onwards.

"I guess it was a few things but I'll keep it in chronological order. Once again my father managed to screw up while he was indebted he appointed his wife, my so-called enemy, Julie Cooper-Nichol the CEO of the Newport Group. I admit that I thought that I would be appointed the position and it would have been a logical choice but he said he had to put his marriage first and I admit I would have done the same. I didn't want to return to work but as Sandy knows I couldn't be unemployed. I have worked so hard all my life, trying to please him and I couldn't have nothing to show for it. I was so frustrated that I cared so much about making him happy, keeping the company so good and he never recognised that. Like the old times, Sandy comforted me and for the next couple of weeks I actually felt like we did before the summer. We never did get around to talking about the summer, actually discussing it and getting it out in the open but we carried life right on top of it. I felt like I was over the summer and once again we became more physical, it just felt like we had to check that it was okay. I remember kissing Sandy but having to pull away and check that it was okay, like it was our first kiss or something along those lines. Julie continued to frustrate me but Sandy was there to help me, soothe me, and he did."

"Well we are going to have to leave it there for today but we will continue from where you are up to tomorrow and I can tell that we are going to get far with this. For now though, I would like you both to leave with a more positive thought. Kirsten, tell me one thing you still love about Sandy."

"I love that once we get into bed and the light is turned off, that no matter how bad our day way, no matter how mad we are at each other, that his arms managed to find me and I fall asleep with his loving arm draped around my waist and I am able to hear his heart beat through my back and feel his warm breathe upon my shoulder. I love it how at night, the wall between us is gone, there is nothing in between us and we are together again like we have always been and always will be."

With that, both Sandy and Kirsten turned to face each other and at the same time they whispered to one another, oblivious to the doctor still in the room staring at them, _I… love… you…_

Then, with a curt nod towards the doctor, he pulled Kirsten up from her chair and escorted her to the door where he kissed her without checking, kissed her without pulling back and kissed her without caring whether people were watching or not. He kissed her to show how he loved her and how he always would love her.

**_Well that is definitely the longest post I have ever written and I hope I sustained it. I had to add in the bit at the end, what is a fanfic without a little Kandy moment in it. This was a summary of her feelings in the first four episodes (up to The New Era). Please review, I'd love to hear your thoughts!_**


	3. Love is never easy

_**Hey everyone! I wrote this while I was on holiday in Australia, the weather turned out to be crap so I had nothing better to do, it's pretty sad really! Anyway, I hope you enjoy and that it is up to standard!**_

**

* * *

Love is never easy**

Sandy and Kirsten were scheduled for their second, well actually third session of couples's therapy and they were walking down the corridor towards the office.

"Sandy?"

"Yea honey?"

"What I say in there, I don't mean to hurt you. It's just that I've realised that for us to get back on solid ground we need to work through every little thing even if it means that I'm here for longer. I really want it to work and I'm sure it will, it's just not going to be easy."

"Sweetie, love is never easy. We'll get there, we always do."

* * *

They reached the room and Sandy led them in with Kirsten following behind, just a mere shadow of the woman she was a year ago. Before she was a high powered career woman with a perfect husband and family to go with it but with the events of the past year she had lost and gained both her sons, lost her sister and best friend, gained a new sister, semi-lost her husband and lost her father and gained a new step-mother who was her rival and now her boss. She sat down in the same chair as the other day and began absent-mindedly fiddling with the fraying material.

"Good afternoon. Kirsten, Sandy. Now last session was very crucial for the initial stages of the process and I hope that you will be able to continue on like last time. For today I would like Kirsten to continue to share her feelings about the past year. I have decided that what we should do is allow Kirsten to contribute her emotions from the past year and when we come to much larger scale problems than the ones already tackled we can face them then and see your views Sandy. Kirsten?"

She took a sharp breath in before returning to her trail of thoughts from the other day. _Love is never easy._ She had heard Sandy say that so many times before; to her countless times, to Seth, to Ryan and even to Marissa at the Valentine's Single Dance Gala. All those memories returning to her of last year; Valentine's Day particularly when Sandy had ruined her favourite holiday right up to the part at the end of the night when she heard his speech to Marissa about how you might be having the stupidest fight that you didn't even know what it is about but you stick in there because it's worth it. She could hear his hidden meaning; Kirsten is worth it. _And our love is worth it, so I am going to do this. _She thought to herself before the doctor interrupted.

"Kirsten? Can you please continue on from where you left off last time?"

"Okay… Well… By now we appeared pretty normal. We were being a little more physical with one another, certainly not as much as usual but we were getting there. My father's case with the D.A became fully fledged and started to take over everything. I supposed I partly blamed myself for not knowing that all this was building up, I mean I worked beside him for ten years, how could I not know that he was making all these illegal deals? I know that Sandy stepped in to be his attorney because it would mean a lot to me and I was so grateful for that but I didn't want him to get himself into trouble for me or my father. I know that last year we were in a similar situation with my 'Uncle' Shaun and Sandy put himself at risk to help me and I really do appreciate how generous he is, how much he helps people but I didn't want him to jeopardise himself for me."

Sandy just sat there listening to his wife go on about how much she cared that he wanted to help but didn't want him to put himself at risk for her. _Doesn't she know that I would do anything for her? To help her? _He thought to himself before speaking out in the silence.

"Honey don't you know that I would do anything for you and to help you?"

"I do Sandy, I know that you would and that you have but I don't want you to continually put yourself on the wrong side of justice to get me out of my father's mess."

"Kirsten? See this wedding ring of mine. I know that you don't have one right now but the plastic one is a substitution and I think of it as one, I hope you do too. But that's beside the point. These rings show that we are bound together. Meaning that whatever trouble you are in, I am in too and I hope that you can realise that there is no way I am ever letting you get into trouble if I can help it, and most of the time I say I can help it!"

"Sandy…"

"Nope, you may usually win but this is one topic that I am adamant on. Whatever situation you are in, I am always going to do my best to get you out of it and you should always remember that."

"Well continuing on from where I left off… I was concerned about my father's case. I felt that I was missing out on something and even though I knew that Sandy had attorney-client privilege and wasn't legally allowed to tell me anything I began to get suspicious when witnesses began turning up at the house wanting to speak to Sandy out the back. At that point all I knew was that my father was being charged for was bribing city officials to get building permits, I had no clue that he had another daughter to a lady he had an affair with while my mother was still alive.

"That's good. Keep on going." The doctor urged her to continue.

"And then Christmas came, or should I say Christmukkah. The holidays had come around so fast from the summer and as usual there was the normal pressure but along with the case it was extremely stressful. When I found out about his affair and the child they had I was so angry. I can remember realising that something was up when he came to me to tell me something and then that red-head lady came so tell me something too and they obviously knew each other. Of course I had no idea it was something so outrageous but I was still beginning to get angry when they were taking so long to tell me. I remember that once he told me I slapped him across the face before running off. I was upset, hurt, and angry but most of all I felt betrayed. I was so mad at Sandy for not telling me. The days leading up I knew that Sandy knew something that he wouldn't share with me and I was so hurt that he wouldn't tell me."

"Honey you know I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to."

"Oh attorney-client privilege! Sandy he cheated on my Mom and I have a sister I had never known about until then."

"Look I wished I could have told you but I couldn't. Caleb told me not to and as much as I wanted to I knew that you had to hear it from him."

"I just wish that it didn't come out like that in front of everyone. I mean the way I reacted was scary, I scared everyone especially Seth when he saw me throw a vase at his head. The worst thing was the way that it made me think about Mom. It made me think how she might have known or had no clue at all. I locked myself in the wardrobe and took time to think by myself. I stayed in there until later that afternoon when Ryan got me out only to find Sandy there waiting for me. It truly felt like we were back to normal for that small moment – when he was comforting me like we used to whenever something horrible happened. He was there for me and I was so happy that he was."

The doctor interrupted as her train of thoughts dissipated. "So if this event brought you two together, how did it get worse?"

"I think it made a turn when Jimmy left. Jimmy was my oldest friend and closest after Sandy. I went out with him when I was sixteen and my father tried to persuade him to propose to me even. We were probably going to get married and live the perfect, boring life as the power couple of Newport Beach but then he got a girl from Riverside pregnant and being a spoilt Newport brat as Sandy likes to say, he had to do the 'right' thing and married her. This made me leave for Berkeley where I met Sandy and while I have had thoughts what it would be like if I married him instead I am happier this way. When I found out that he had fallen in love with Julie again I was worried. I mean I know that they were never going to last apart for longer than a year but all the damage she had caused I think would have driven Jimmy away but obviously not. And then when he told us that he was leaving, I was so upset. I knew that he had been there to turn to as a friend and losing my oldest friend was going to be hard. His departure made me reminisce about the old days and how things were so much simpler."

"And how were things with your father?" The Doctor enquired.

At first I didn't want to forgive him at all. I did my best to ignore him and at first it worked but eventually we got over it all and we went back to normal. He was my boss so I couldn't exactly be horrible to him at the workplace but I certainly could at home. On the other hand I wanted to help Lindsay, his illegitimate love child, and give her a family. I realised that it would be hard for her too so I wanted to be friends with her as well and we spent a lot of time together shopping and lunching and doing girly stuff, it was nice to do it all with someone other than Julie."

"Okay now that's nearly our time up for today so once again I would like us to all leave on a happier note. Sandy seeing you haven't had much to contribute today I would like you to finish by telling us one thing you love about Kirsten."

"I love the way you think too much. The way you read in between the lines but usually end up interpreting it in the wrong way and getting the complete wrong idea and I have to spend the rest of the day making up to you for something you think that happened when it didn't really but I know that once you get something stuck in your mind there is no changing it so I go through and find a way to make it up to you anyway because I love the look on your face once you see my apology."

"Sandy..." Kirsten replied recognising the hint of referral to the Rebecca situation reaffirming her trust in him that nothing did happen.

Sandy clasped her hand in his as he swooped down to kiss her before pulling her up and escorting her out of the room leaving the Doctor in awe to how they ever had problems.

_**

* * *

Please review, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Next chapter will be about their wedding anniversary because I don't think that she got over him forgetting it just like that, I mean it was their twentieth! If you have any suggestions for the next chapter please tell me, I need all the inspiration I can get. Thanks!**_


	4. Sometimes you just don't get it

_**Thanks for all your reviews! I've been staying at my friend's house for 3 weeks so I haven't been able to write much let alone update it so I know this is way overdue, sorry!**_

**Sometimes you just don't get it**

Even though the past few visits to the therapist hadn't exactly been the worst of their problems, the effects it had had on Kirsten and her alcoholism had been perfect. She had finally come to terms with her problem and since then she had only improved. Her relationship with Sandy had become more strained even though they both didn't want it to be that way. It's just that they couldn't pretend and go back to how they used to be unless the talked, seriously talked, through all of their problems that had arisen over the past year. Kirsten was still staying at Suriak Treatment Centre while she was still enduring group and individual therapy appointments as well as the couple's therapy ones with Sandy. Sandy would come up every Monday and Thursday so that they could attend the appointments that had been recommended to them by one of Kirsten's therapists.

Sandy knocked on the door; he had arrived thirty minutes early as traffic had been considerable lighter on the way over.

"Kirsten, are you there? I'm a little bit early; I thought we could spend some time together before the appointment."

"Hi Sandy, come in. I was just sitting around so you weren't interrupting anything."

_Since when were things so polite between us? _Sandy thought to himself. _Ever since we started going out we have always been pushing each other's buttons, playing around, and now we have come to this. I know Kirsten is upset with me, I suppose I'm upset with her too. I really want her to know how much I love her, care about her, and want her to happy. _As he was thinking this he walked over towards her bed and sat down on it. He turned to her,

"Kirsten, come here."

"Sandy, I'm really not in the mood."

"No I know, I didn't mean it like that. Just come and sit with me. I haven't actually been alone with you for so long, I miss it so much. I just need a reminder to get me through the rest of the time while you're here."

She walked over to where he was sitting and dutifully sat down next to him. He put his arms out and she obliged and leant in towards him as he held her closely. They fell back on the bed, Kirsten lying on top of Sandy, her head facing away, fitting perfectly into the curve of his neck and they lay there in silence.

"Kirsten, are you okay?"

"I'm in rehab Sandy."

"I know that, but are you okay… about us?"

"I'm getting there. I've realised that most of this is my own fault. If I never drove you away over the summer then we wouldn't be here at all. I hate the way things are but there are some things that I can't get over that happened this year."

"Like Rebecca?"

She drew a sharp breath inwards at the sound of the name. While that had all happened 4 months ago, she still felt threatened by the ever present Rebecca Bloom who had nearly managed to destroy their marriage.

"Yes."

"I understand."

"That's all I want you to do. There's no way you can make it up to me, what happened has happened but you shouldn't have done that in the first place."

"I know and I'm sorry. I love you."

"I love you too. And I know you're sorry but it doesn't change anything."

"Well for the record, I love you more than you know. We better get going then; we don't want to be late."

* * *

As they walked down the corridor, Kirsten reached for Sandy's hand and entwined her fingers around his. How much she wanted to believe his apology, she really did, but it was all so hard. She knew it was sincere, that he really meant that he was sorry that he hurt her. But it was going to take a lot of talking through to get over it.

"Good afternoon Kirsten, Sandy. So in your individual therapy sessions you mentioned something about your twentieth wedding anniversary Kirsten. Would you please be able to expand on that?"

"As you said, it was our twentieth anniversary and I was overjoyed. I mean being married to the most amazing man for twenty years and still loving him just as much, if not more, than you did when you first married him, it was pretty special. To me at least. In the morning I greeted him with a more passionate than normal kiss and said happy anniversary. I knew straight away we he hesitated that he had forgotten, or it had slipped his mind that morning. When he went on to insinuate that it was our 19th anniversary I was so annoyed. He even went on to say that he had a 'whole thing' planned which just made me angrier. I couldn't believe that he didn't know how long we had been married. He couldn't even remember the one day that celebrates our twenty years of marriage."

"Sandy, can I hear your view please."

"First of all, I'm sorry. I said it when I sang to you and I said it after, I am so sorry that I forgot our twentieth wedding anniversary."

"So now you admit that you forgot?"

"Yes I do. I know that it's horrible, it truly is and once again I have been able to disappoint you. Kirsten you know that I love you, I try and say it as much as I can but I know that there isn't enough times that I can. Because I forgot one date, it doesn't mean that I don't know how long we've been married and it certainly doesn't mean that I don't care. I know that it means a lot to you and I should have made sure that I had something really spectacular planned but I didn't and I'm sorry. I couldn't ask for more; I'm married to the woman of my dreams, I love her with all my heart plus more and the best thing is that she loves me back. I've been married to her for over twenty years and that is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know it was stupid how I forgot but I want you to know that it definitely doesn't mean that I don't love you, because if you haven't figured out by now, I'm deeply, madly, truly in love with you and nothing can change that at all."

"Sandy… I love you too. I know that you feel bad that you forgot and I'm sorry that I made you feel that way but it was our twentieth anniversary; even the boys knew it when you didn't. How did you think I felt when I saw everyone else around me commenting on it but thinking back to that morning when you didn't remember how long we had been married, it just made me more upset."

"Honey, I promise I would never want to do anything that upsets you. I'm sorry that you felt that way, I really am and I'm going to continue to say that to you until you get over it."

"Get over it! Valentine's Day I can nearly understand but our wedding anniversary? You're telling me to 'get over' our wedding anniversary?"

"No I'm not; I didn't mean to use those words. Kirsten…"

"Well what did you mean? What did words did you mean to use?"

"Kirsten…"

"What Sandy? What?"

"Remember later that night, when I sang to you in front of all those people?"

"Yeah…"

"Well I meant every word that I said. That was my apology and I was hoping that you could accept it but obviously you can't so just tell me how I can make it up to you. Tell me how I can make it right."

"Sorry for intruding but we need to wrap this up for today." The doctor spoke interrupting the mini brawl between the two. "We're a bit pushed for time, I have to rush off to my daughter's wedding but I'll see you two on Thursday? Great, bye!" He said rushing out the door.

Sandy moved towards the couch that Kirsten was on. Sitting down next to her, he placed his hands on her shoulders, gently moving her to face him as he said "Kirsten Cohen, I love you. Please believe me on that, because that is never going to change. No matter what uncertainty there is in your life, that will be the one constant – my love for you." And with that he pulled her into an embrace as she finally let her defences down and collapsed into his arms gently sobbing.

_**Well, the beginning of the Rebecca debacle is coming up next… It should be up in about 2 weeks depending, I have campin two days for a weekand then I'll just have to see how much stuff I have on. Please review!**_


	5. First Obstacle

**_Okay, sorry I'm so slack with my updating! I've been at camp and away from home and held up with all my school work not to mention the lack of inspiration for this fic so it's been a bit of a mission to get started again. At least I'm on holiday now and starting to feel a lot more inspired to write. Anyway, here's the chapter so please read and review, I'd love to hear your thoughts._**

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* * *

First obstacle**

Kirsten sat in her room at the table overlooking the view of the garden outside. She glanced at the photos of her family, skimming over the ones of Seth and Ryan and finally resting her gaze on the one of her husband. She had taken it from her bedside table back in Newport but her mind questioned her choice of photo. _Why did I take this one, sure we looked happy on the outside but it was during the Rebecca fiasco. We were pretty good at making it look like we were happy. Were we doing this all along? _She thought to herself. _How long have we been doing this? Kidding ourselves that we are fine and that we are happy where we are? _

Sandy sat in the driver's seat of his BMW in the back-log of traffic that had drawn the freeway to a halt. _Great, _he thought to himself _more time to think. _Truth was, Sandy had done a lot of thinking the past few days. He knew that today they would begin to talk about Rebecca and that undoubtedly this was going to be difficult for him as well as Kirsten. _I wish I could take back everything that has happened this year. I know I can't but just imagine what it would be like if I did. _Even in his head he was still able to ramble on incessantly _I mean, Kirsten would love me… Wait a minute, I don't think she loves me? That can't be true, of course she does, I couldn't stand it if she didn't. What would I do? What would happen to me? Okay calm down, we aren't there, it hasn't happened. Stop being stupid and focus on the road._

Still sitting there in a daze, Kirsten was brought back into reality by the soft tapping on her door. She got up from her seat facing the grounds and walked over to open it and let her husband in.

"Hey. Wow you look beautiful." Sandy gushed to his wife, amazed at how gorgeous she was getting each time he visited her. She was finally getting her spirit back and she was becoming more of the bright-eyed girl he met back at Berkeley.

"Thanks. So, how are things back home?" Kirsten enquired, oblivious to the Trey-Ryan-Marissa situation that was carrying on.

"Oh you know Newport, always eventful." He replied, feeling guilty for his lies. But he had discussed it with the doctor and this was what was best for Kirsten in the long run.

"I miss it… I miss you…" She quietly added on the end with a whisper.

"Honey I miss you too. Home's not the same without you." Truth be told, home hadn't been the same since Kirsten had been shipped off to rehab and Marissa had shot Trey. Ryan had become more reserved and begun to once again question his place in the family, Seth had become needier and placed the entire parental load onto Sandy, and Sandy, and well Sandy had been lost without Kirsten. She was the one who made him feel like he had a tiny reason to belong in this community, but with her and his father-in-law gone he had no real connections.

"Mmm… So, today's going to be hard for me Sandy. Please don't push me, it's a fragile subject."

"I know, it's hard for me too. Just tell me if we're going too fast for your comfort."

"Sure. It's just that you really hurt me and it just makes it harder having to bring it up again."

"Trust me Kirsten, you're not the only who it's tough for."

"Oh Sandy I don't want to hear about how hard it was to let her go again. Just save it for when you have to say it."

"It's not that, I don't care about that anymore. It's the fact that I hurt you that makes me upset."

She bent over to pick a stray piece of lint off the floor shielding her eyes from Sandy and willing herself not to cry. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't let him see you like this._ She wondered to herself, _since when did I not want to let my husband see me emotional… fragile?_ She shook it off as she noticed the time.

"We don't want to be late, let's go."

* * *

They arrived in the plush room where they once again found themselves facing a balding, middle-aged man with a ruddy complexion encouraging them to verbalise their problems.

"Good Afternoon, Sandy, Kirsten. Now today I am well aware that this may be more difficult than our previous appointments but I require your full participation for this to work. Shall you start Kirsten? Please tell me about Rebecca."

She took a sharp breath inwards at the very mention of her name, as she tried to work out what to say.

"Well this was about a week or two after our wedding anniversary and everything was going great. We were finally acting normal around each other but something had to come and spoil it didn't they?" She asked rhetorically.

"When her name first came up, I admit I was worried. Apart from his work colleague before, I had never been threatened of my role as his wife but suddenly his ex-fiancée who was the ideal woman for him had been brought back into his life. And the way that he made such an effort and pulled an all-nighter just so that he could shed some light on her situation frightened me.

It made me question whether he was really happy with me or whether I had been kidding myself that this was right, that he really wanted to be with me. When he found out that she was dead he was devastated and I admit that I felt jealous. He was only meant to feel that way about me, and me only, not some woman who ran off 22 years ago because she burnt down some stupid nuclear lab!" Her voice rose at the end shocking Sandy at how angry she was getting.

"That's great Kirsten, please continue."

"So when I went to spruce up his office and she came down when she heard me rustling the bags, I felt so betrayed. All the time while I was tending for my sick father, he was going behind my back and running to her every chance that he could. He lied to me blatantly and even while he may have thought that she was dead at first, he well and truly knew that she wasn't when we had dinner together but I waited hoping that he just might bring it up and tell me what was really happening."

"Okay Kirsten we'll stop there. Sandy can you please tell me your side of the story?"

"Well 22 years ago before I even met Kirsten, I was engaged to Rebecca until she allegedly burned down a nuclear lab and a custodian got killed in the process. While our engagement wasn't moving forward, she still meant a lot to me and we never had closure. It's not that all these years that I've been wondering how my life would have been if she didn't run off, but I think that a part of me wanted to see if she was the same woman that I was in love with all that time ago. This didn't mean that I didn't love you Kirsten; I love you a lot more than I ever loved her, it's just that I needed to see for myself instead of wondering.

When I found out that she was dead I must admit that I was very upset. While looking back on it shows to me that whether she was dead or not, she shouldn't have been a part of my life but I didn't see that at the time.

I suppose you could say that I was blinded by the image that had developed in my head over the years. We never had any closure; one day she was there and the next day she was gone from my life as I knew it."

"Okay back to you now, Kirsten."

"Sandy, I made it clear to you the next morning that we came first, that our marriage came first. And then you continuously left me to go to her, you continuously put her ahead of me, and not trying to be selfish but that hurt! Day after day I would trudge down into the kitchen in the morning only to find that you had already left for the office and arrive home from work to find an empty house and when you would turn up at the latest hours of the night when I was already in bed.

I know that you got mad at me for doing this, but I had to go and see what you were putting everything at risk for; I had to actually see this woman. What upset me the most was that when you found me afterwards at Lindsay's party was that you managed to turn it back on me and make it all my fault."

Sandy quickly butted in to defend himself. "I didn't say that. I know that you felt like that I meant that but I didn't. It was hard on me as well; to see how hurt you were and to think to myself that I was the cause of your pain. I know I pushed you too far, and the worst bit was that I realised it too late. I know that what I did was wrong and that you have every right to be mad with me but can we please just put this behind us."

"Back to you now, Kirsten."

"My life was falling apart. I know I shouldn't have been jealous, but it was so hard for me. There were times at its worst when I even doubted that we would work it out. It just seemed like this would go on forever, like Rebecca would always manage to be a part of our lives. Every time she said that she was leaving it always ended up that she was staying, and it usually happened right after she was with you.

What was I meant to believe Sandy? What was I meant to think? I know I shouldn't think that you were being unfaithful but all that time I spent alone, just wondering what she had that I didn't."

"Sorry Doctor but I have to clear this up. Kirsten, honey, baby, I would, could, never be unfaithful to you. You have so much more to offer to me; you're loving, beautiful, amazing, motherly, responsible, caring, adorable, cute, gorgeous… Need I go on anymore? I love you with all my heart, so much that at times it hurts; you are what keeps me going on living life. I promise to you that I didn't sleep with her."

"But something happened, didn't it?"

"I kissed her, that's it."

"That's it! When Jimmy kissed me last year you got so upset and angry at me and I didn't even want that to happen. How can you expect me to just think, a kiss… that's it?"

"Yes, I want you to think that. And don't get mad at me for that because I can't take it back. What happened doesn't change how much I love you and I hope that the same goes for you. I'm sick of things coming between us, why don't we just take it and let it strengthen us. Why don't we stop dwelling on things we can't change and get back to where we used to be, before all the drama."

"Okay, I'll try. I'm sorry for how I've acted, I know I need to move on but I think I'm only going to be able to move on if we talk it through. But the thing is, Sandy, we are never going to be able to get back to where we were, it's too different to what we are now."

"Well then we'll make it something better than ever. Sweetie, there's no way that I'm going to let anything more come between us. You mean too much to me to get any closer to losing you, this year has been horrible for me and I truly mean that."

"Sandy, you have no idea. I thought I had lost you."

"Okay let's continue before we get too far off the topic. Kirsten, continue please." Dr. Simmons urged her on.

"The hardest part was that rainy night, when you were stuck in the motel room with her. I spent the whole night alone in our bed, with the stormy weather outside. I wanted you home; even though I was so mad at you I just needed you here with me, to make me feel like it would go back to normal. And even though you said that nothing was going to stop you from coming home, it just wasn't enough. I mean saying something is one thing, but I had been hurt so much that words weren't enough, I actually needed you to put it into play so to speak.

Sandy, I know that you're sorry, and I accept that. I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to realise that but I just need you to know that it was hard. I felt like that if someone could come between us so easy, how do we know that it wouldn't happen again? And as sad as I am to say it, it did."

"Kirsten, we are going to leave that for next week." The Doctor interrupted again.

"But you have no idea how relieved I was to see you on that bus, it gave me hope that we could get through this. Since the boys had left over the summer, you had changed Sandy; I admit that I had changed too. But the way you kissed me in the rain under the umbrella, it brought me back to when we were young and it made me realise that as hard as it may seem, there's no way I'm letting go of you."

"Oh Kirsten, you wouldn't have the chance." Sandy replied, touched by the words of his wife.

"Well I definitely think that this has been our most profound session so far. I am very pleased with you progress Kirsten, your development in you ability to verbalise your issues has been so amazing; this form of therapy seems to be working wonders for you." The Doctor gushed, surprised at how far she had come. How open she was considering the first time she came she was unable to say a thing.

* * *

They left the room, hand in hand with Kirsten slightly resting her head on Sandy's shoulders. He took a slight breath in but before he could get the words out Kirsten spoke for him.

"Honey, I know you're sorry. I accept it. Everything I said in there was true, especially about not letting you go. All this has made me realise is how much I love you, let's just focus on that."

"You know how you were talking about how that kiss in the rain made me remind you of how I used to be?" He questioned with a slight mischievous glint in his eye.

"Yeah… Baby, what are you ge…" She started to reply before Sandy backed her up against the corridor wall and kissed her passionately.

He murmured through their kiss. "This kind of reminds me how we used to be, in college."

She laughed as they still kissed, his hand travelling along her back while hers around his neck. "Yeah, you were never able to wait until we made the room were you!" She replied coyly, reminiscing the days she missed so much.

They continued their public displays of affection until an intervening cough was heard and without meeting the eyes of the interrupter Kirsten quickly whisked him off around the corner, pulling him into her room.

"You know, I don't quite remember what it used to be like once we did make the room. Could you remind me?" She played along, hinting to Sandy.

"Sure, I'll try… I might have forgotten so…"

"I'm sure I can help you out" She replied before she fell back down onto the bed with Sandy's force upon her.

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**_If you've made it to here, I'd love to hear your comments, they'll only make it better and give me more of a reason to update faster :)_**


	6. Harsh Realisation

_**Ooooh aren't you all proud of me, two updates right after each other!**_

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Harsh Realisation**

Sandy sat down in the plush chair, nervous, even scared about the session today. For the last few months he had watched his wife descend into the grasps of alcoholism and now he was going to have to live through the night that changed everything once again. How oblivious he had been to it all, ignorant even. What did it take for him to realise his wife's actions? _Too much, _he thought to himself, _too much_.

Next to him on a separate chair sat Kirsten, the guilt radiating from her. As upset and slightly deluded by the guilt she was, she knew that this wasn't going to improve their relationship right now. In the long term it might, she hoped, but it was definitely going to be a struggle. _How do I wind myself into these situations?_She thought to herself. _First Jimmy, and now Carter… This is a disaster, my life is a disaster._

The Doctor sat there, hesitating before he entered the situation. He knew from the beginning that this was going to be difficult, if he thought that they had had trouble so far, this was going to be worse. He could see from the body language, even the simplest details, that this was their biggest problem. He paused a moment before beginning the session.

"Hello. Now part of my job is observing and from what I can see now you both can't even make eye contact. By the end of the hour I would like to have gotten to a point where you both feel comfortable enough to make eye contact, does that sound realistic?"

They both hesitantly replied with a mumble "Yes."

"Good, then let's get started. So from what I know Rebecca had left and Sandy had come home to you after a moment in the rain. What happened after that, Kirsten?"

"Well I was still unsure about us, after all we had been through I was questioning my part in this marriage. I really wanted it to be all over but I had gotten so used to things being strained it was hard to just slip back into how it was. I had been hurt badly so I guess I was just being cautious, I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't want Sandy to just think that we could go through something like that and then pretend like nothing happened because that wasn't nothing."

Sandy could hear his wife fluffing around, unable to reach the point she was meant to. He knew that the issue surrounding her misplacement of her ring was about to be faced and these delays of confronting this event secured his belief that there was more to the story that Kirsten had told him previously. While at the time he had a slight feeling that she may have purposely taken them off, he believed that she had really lost them, he had hoped that she had really lost them. Facing the idea that she had willingly taken them off would have indicated a deeper problem between them and Sandy had not been eager to believe that but now they were here getting outside help so he needed to know the truth.

"Kirsten at the time I knew how hard Rebecca being around was for you, so when I saw that you had lost your ring I just wanted to make it up to prove to you that you are the love of my life and that I cherish you above all others. That morning when I saw that you didn't have your ring on, I small part of me had a feeling that you had purposely taken it off but the larger part of me wanted to believe that we were fine, and that it was a mere misplacement. What should I believe?"

"It was a mistake Sandy. I admit now that I did take them off deliberately, I just wanted to see if you noticed. I felt like you had been ignoring me and my needs but when you noticed their absence straight away the next morning it gave me a glimmer of hope that we would make it. But because I was still reeling, I didn't really register this feeling and left my rings off. I didn't know that you spent the whole day with my father searching for them until I arrived home after I had spent the night having dinner with Carter who instantly picked up on my deceit. He said that he found out that his wife didn't love him when she left her wedding ring beside the sink. It made me question whether I didn't love you anymore, but my sight was hindered by the recent events.

When you gave me that ring, once again I saw a glimpse of the man I married 20 years ago. It made me realise that I did still love you, and how bad I felt for not thinking that way for the day. Not only did it show to me that you cared about my wedding rings, but that you cared about our relationship the whole way through. The way you incorporated your proposal with your own little Sandy Cohen forgiveness plea that I know so well indicated to me that it did matter to you and from that I knew that I shouldn't have dealt with it by taking off my wedding rings. But now I know that from this I have learnt that my wedding rings belong on my fingers, not tucked away in a draw. While I was trying to find who I really was, the person I am is not complete without my wedding rings."

"So Kirsten, can you please expand on the Carter fellow?" Dr. Simmons encouraged.

"When Carter first arrived in Newport as the editor that had been assigned to us he didn't exactly come across as the ideal man for the job, he was resentful. But, as we began to talk over dinner when Julie left on personal business I came to realise that he was different to everyone else here in Newport, just like Sandy. The conversation led on to him telling me that he was divorced and I sympathised for him only for the conversation to steer back to my marriage and lack of wedding rings. He picked up on the fact that I had taken them off, and I knew that for the whole night he had been flirting with me and to be honest it felt good. I felt like I had been ignored by you for the last few months and it was a nice change to have some male attention, albeit from a different man.

At the Newport Living Launch Carter came up to me after I had been humiliated by Julie going on about my crush on Carter and told me that if there were any vibes, they were from him and that we should forget about it. I felt so uneasy because I knew that they weren't just from him, they were coming on my behalf as well.

Sandy I know that I shouldn't have had feelings for another man, not when I'm married to you. And I feel so bad about it, even at the time I felt bad about it but there was so much happening and I was feeling so lonely. I knew that I was making a big mess of my life but everything seemed to be spiralling out of control so fast.

While I tried my hardest to postpone the inevitable, Sandy and Carter finally met. I don't really know why I tried to stall their meeting but it just felt awkward for me to introduce the two."

"So Sandy, how was it when you and Carter met?" Dr. Simmons enquired.

"Well at first it was really good. I mean since Jimmy had left I had never had another friend; I had come to think that I wouldn't find another friend and now I had another person I was able to hang out with. We went surfing together and I even set him up with a friend but that didn't seem to go well. But then I guess just like it was with Jimmy, it's hard being friends with someone who has feelings for your wife, and even harder when you suspect that your wife has feelings for him too."

"So you thought that Kirsten had feelings for Carter?" He pushed.

"Yeah, I did. I tried to deny it for so long but in the end I had to face it. I mean there had to be a reason beyond Newport Living that kept Kirsten spending all her time at the office, and as much as it hurt me to realise that, it also made me come to terms with the damage that I had inflicted on our marriage myself."

"Sandy, this was not your fault." Kirsten butted in before remembering where she was.

"Honey, face it. It was my fault. I'm just disappointed that your actions got this far, that this is what happened instead of talking it through with me."

"Kirsten, your view please." The Doctor urged her on.

Sandy, please don't make this harder on me. I'm disappointed in myself, I mean it's not like I cheated on you but just the whole idea of betrayal is so overwhelming, I just feel so small now. I don't deserve you Sandy, not after everything that I've done, but if you leave me I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't live without you, just being as separated as we were over this year hit me hard enough and now this actual separation while I'm in rehab, I don't think I can take it any longer. I just need to know whether you will take me back."

"I need to know what happened with Carter."

"Nothing happened Sandy! He kissed me goodbye, that's all."

"So he kissed you. What kind of kiss?" He pushed her on.

Her face twisted at the painful recollection, her near brush with infidelity in her own kitchen. "Sandy… it was only a kiss."

"Kirsten, I trusted you all the other times like at Featherbrook but this time you never even filled me in that he was coming over for dinner. You never told me that while I was visiting my sick mother that you were setting up a romantic dinner for another man. It's bad enough kissing him but not even letting me know that you were with him, that's beyond it Kirsten."

"So what are you saying? How is this different to you and Rebecca?"

"First of all, I went out with her 22 years ago, for goodness sake Kirsten I was engaged to her. We used to have something, you and Carter had known each other for how long, two months tops? Was it infatuation or love… or lust?"

"Sandy!"

"Honey just listen to me; just give me a chance now because you sure haven't this year. Do you want to know the difference between Rebecca and Carter? After the whole Rebecca events I spent the whole time trying to make it up to you, I went out of my way, day after day, to prove to you that you are the one that I love above all others.

After Carter left all you did was drink, pass out and push me away. There was no indications that you felt bad, no way for me to see that you love me. Every time that I'd try and reach out to you, help you, you'd just push me away and act so reserved. All I wanted was you to show me that I still meant something to you because I still felt that way about you."

"Sandy, don't you dare accuse me of not loving you."

"Why not? What was I meant to think because if you did love me you sure weren't making an effort to show me?"

"Look, I was in so deep by then that I didn't know what to do. Every time you reached out to me, it felt like you were suffocating me. I wanted to get through this by myself and I certainly didn't want you to find out what happened."

"Why not?"

"Because I felt so bad; I let you down Sandy, I ruined your trust in me."

"Honey I still trust you; just don't go assuming things like that because they aren't true. But for now I think that I need to take some time, to register everything."

"You want a break?"

"I think it would be for the best. We won't tell the boys anything, they don't need to know unless it becomes really serious."

"Serious?"

"I just really need to have some alone time and to think about everything that's been revealed today. A lot has happened; I just need to figure out my stance on everything."

The Doctor quickly disrupted the heated discussion. "Sandy, I think that decision would be severely detrimental to Kirsten's progress."

"Look, this is a personal matter involving just the two of us. While it may have a negative impact on Kirsten, can we slide the focus away from her for a moment and take a look at me. I've just realised that my wife of twenty years has had feelings for another man, I need some time to take this in and work out my next move so don't go on telling me what to do!"

With that he stormed out of the room leaving a shocked doctor and Kirsten whispering after him "So that's it?"

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Okay so I know you're probably very mad with me now but don't worry, they will work it out, they are Kandy! Please review!_**


	7. Overridden Emotions

_**Wow, third update in 3 days! Thanks for all your reviews, I really appreciate them. So, I hope this is up to standard!**_

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Overridden Emotions**

Dr. Simmons sat there, rendered speechless by the scene that just unfolded before his eyes. Never throughout his career as a counsellor had he ever seen a marriage break up right in front of him. While his job was to help couples talk through and eventually settle their differences, never had one of them stormed out of the room after the talking had been halfway through let alone demanding a break to register the information that had been spilled a few minutes previously. His gaze crossed to Kirsten who just sat there shell shocked.

As she felt the slight wind from his speedy departure her face stayed blank conveying no emotion, however on the inside she felt as if she was being torn in two. The thoughts whirred around her head as she tried to comprehend the situation she had been left in. _How could my actions result in this?_ She thought to herself. _While I was the one who had feelings for another man in the end I chose Sandy while he chose nothing._ Her eyes began to glaze over as the sorrow began to seep through to her exterior, the lines on her face showing the pain that she was in.

She took a sharp breath in, holding the tears that threatened to run down her face within herself, drawing the attention of the doctor back towards her.

"Kirsten, I'm so sorry. Is there anything that I can do to help you at all?"

"Right now I'm not in the best frame of mind to talk. I think it's just best if I leave and spend some time along. I don't feel like talking to anyone at all."

With that, still wearing the blank expression, she slowly lifted herself off the couch and lumbered down the corridor carrying more than her body weight with her. The once graceful Kirsten Cohen had been replaced over the year by this new Kirsten, the one who had weathered the storms with a cost and had been changed, almost tainted, by the course of the past year.

Once she reached the sanctuary of her room she finally let her armour down to reveal her true feelings on the situation she had been placed in. She was alone, truly alone, in an alcohol rehabilitation centre where the man who had put her in here to help her had lost it so bad that he wanted nothing to do with her, at least for the time being.

* * *

As Sandy drove along the Californian coast his racing pulse slowed down while his temper subsided. The memories of the past hour flushed back through his mind as he began to question whether his motives were entirely honest. _She hurt me_ he thought to himself as he tried to justify his actions _can't she realise that? She admitted that she had feelings for another man, how did she expect me to react?_ The questions whirred around his head until the tiny innocent part, his conscious, answered for him – she wanted you to understand.

At that moment he realised how wrong he had been to respond like that, how she deserved so much more from him than what he had given. There she had gone out and told him what she had been unable to tell him before. While it may have been hard for him to hear it, it was just as hard for Kirsten to watch her husband squirm as she recollected the events the pushed her to the brink and eventually over it.

* * *

That night, neither of them could bring themselves to phone their significant other to apologise for their mishaps. This carried onto the next day where they decided that if they called the other it would seem as if it had taken them this long to figure out that they were wrong. Of course they knew that they were wrong, it was impossible to realise that when everything you heard or saw seemed to be related to your current position. Three days later, Sandy finally came to the conclusion that if he didn't do something that this would escalate into something much larger than they could handle right now so he set off to visit Kirsten and set things straight.

* * *

Kirsten lay there on her bed, just like she had for the last few days. These had consisted of her blocking the harsh daylight out of her eyes while burrowing under the covers so that her inconsolable sobs were muted from the outside world. Against all the work the doctors could do, she refused to eat knowing that her stomach couldn't take anything with the pain that she was in and rejected the appeals to leave her room and face humanity.

While lying curled up in a ball on top of her bed she lifted her head to see the down-turned photos of her family especially Sandy. Even though they were hidden from view the images still pierced through her mind as she noticed the tiny details, the comforting hand of Sandy's upon her back, the glee in her eyes as she revelled in his touch. How she wished that that was available to her but she had pushed him too far and now she had to pay, she had to accept the consequences that she so rightly deserved for her misguided actions. She was startled from her train of thought as a gentle knock on the door indicated that it was not someone who had already tried to cajole her out of the room. She sat there silently, hoping that the person would go away but to her dismay another persisting knock fell upon her door and she meekly called out.

"Sorry but I'm not in the mood for visitors. Can you come back later please?"

"Kirsten, we really need to talk about this. Please can I come in?"

She was taken aback at the voice on the other side of the door. Never had she guessed that this would be the figure willing to come in and talk to her since the last time she saw him he had left instantaneously clearly conveying his disappointment in her. She got up from her bed and modestly tried to maintain her appearance but made no improvement. Opening the door a scruffy Sandy stood in front of her, compassion burning in his eyes. With one look they seared through her and tore down the guard she had erected since his departure the other day. As she mentally prepared herself for the confrontation that was about to occur she willed herself not to give in, not to be taken advantage of in her fragile state.

"What do you want, Sandy?" She questioned almost pleadingly, intending for it to come out for forcefully than it did.

"I'm sorry. I take back what I said before, I was just upset at the time and needed some space to register in my mind what you were saying. Please can you forgive me?" His eyes begged for forgiveness as the same time riling up Kirsten as she kept to her mantra of not giving in.

"How can I? I don't need you! I've never needed you!"

He grabbed her wrists and pulled her close. Staring down into her eyes where she could no longer avoid his stare she finally looked up as he stated.

"I need you."

"Then why did you say that before? If this is some sick joke…ARGH!" She screamed as she pulled away from his grasp and stormed over to her bed and sat down.

"Kirsten, baby, I didn't mean it."

"Then what did you mean?"

"That I… I thought…Oh I don't know. But I know now. I know that what I did was stupid and the exact opposite of how I feel."

"And that is?"

"That I love you more than anything in this world. Nothing else matters to me, you are the one that I love."

"Then you are a horrible father and son. You don't love your kids? You don't love your mother?"

"Oh honey you know what I mean. Of course I love them, just not in the same way that I love you. Why are you being so difficult?"

"Oh so now you're putting it back on me?"

"No of course not, I didn't mean to."

"Sandy, I've spent the last three days thinking that our marriage is over and now you are telling me that you didn't mean it. How am I supposed to react?"

"I never said it was over. I just said that I needed a break."

"A break always ends in divorce; you should know that being a self confessed cynic."

"I told you I was wrong, I don't need a break."

She dipped her head down so her eyes avoided contact with his. "Well maybe I do…"

"What?"

"Just a break though."

"Kirsten, a break always ends in divorce, you should know that." He replied with a slight mock in his tone.

"Look, what was I supposed to think? You said that you needed a break from us and so I prepared myself for the worst so that I would be ready if you asked for a divorce."

"Honey, there is no way in the world that I would ever be able to ask for a divorce from you. Believe me when I say that, I love you so much, there is no way in the world that I would ever want to end our marriage. Do you mind if I ask what you were doing these past three days? The doctors said that you didn't attend any meetings or talk to anyone."

She kept her head down as she quietly admitted. "I was trying to get over you"

His head shot up at the comment. His guilty feelings were swept out of his mind as new ones of doubt filled their position. He walked over to Kirsten and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Did it work?" He questioned in a whisper, the worried expression on his face portraying the uncertainty he felt.

In an even quieter whisper she replied. "No"

He reached out for her as he embraced her. Instantly she broke down into tears He held her as she sobbed and shook, her emotions pouring out of her in the form of tears along Sandy's shoulder. He felt her frail body shaking as she began to clench onto his body, pulling him closer as he acceptingly enveloped her frame. Patting down her hair, smoothing the messy waves he noticed her appearance for the first time. He had never seen her so unkempt since her father's death, and before that her mother's death. _So this is the effect I have on her. _He thought to himself. _Scary, but reassuring none the less. Gives us hope for the future._

Moments passed as the distance between them subsided and they found themselves closer than they had been in a while to each other. As he watched the gentle stream of tears flow down her face, his own began to fall from his eyes and mixed with hers down the front of his shirt. His hand grazed over her cheek following the groves of her face as they traced a familiar pattern over her, a heart. Wiping away the tears he gently lifted her chin to face him as he placed soft, loving kisses along her jaw and up around her face before resting on her eyelids and finally her lips. As their respective lips met he whispered to her.

"I love you."

She replied as she had constantly throughout their relationship.

"I love you too."

"That's all I need to know. Come back to me and I'll never let you go."

"I am here, I always will be.

_**

* * *

Okay I hope that resolved the issue for you all. I'm not sure whether I should just finish this on the next chapter or whether I should continue it on for a bit longer, suggestions would be greatly appreciated!**_


	8. Together Again

_**Okay so I think I'll end it here, there's not much more that I can add to it. Although come to think of it I could bring them back to talk about the abortion and the whole Ryan/Marissa/Trey incident maybe?**_

**

* * *

Together Again**

Sandy and Kirsten both sat there no longer avoiding each other's eyes and no longer feeling uncomfortable in each other's presence. The doctor sat there for a moment basking in the job he had done. They had started apart, grew closer only to be torn apart more than they were at the beginning and now here they were; completely and utterly in love and relaxed in the company of each other.

"Well, I have to say that congratulations are in order for your progress, Kirsten. I'm extremely proud to see how far you've travelled in both your individual and couples therapy sessions."

Kirsten, already glowing inside with joy at her relationship with Sandy, blushed as she humbly thanked him.

"Thank you, for everything; in my individual sessions, prompting us to attend these sessions and helping us work through everything in the past year. You've given me an insight into why I turned to alcohol and now I know that I can get through this."

"Kirsten, I've discussed it with the other doctors and Sandy and we have decided that you are through it. You are ready to go home now."

She turned to Sandy, smiling with happiness.

"You knew?"

"I knew that you would prefer to find out here." He replied, smiling too at the prospect of Kirsten returning home with him this time.

"But this doesn't mean that everything is over. Facing reality is a tough move but with your strong relationship with Sandy I believe that he will be more than enough to help you through this, not to mention your sons."

"Thank you, I'm sure that you are right. I mean, if I've learnt anything through these sessions it's that Sandy makes or breaks me. No pressure honey!" She added the comment on at the end as a joke, to lighten the situation and show how far she had really come, how far their relationship had come.

Sandy sat there in awe at his wife; how she had managed to joke around in front of a near stranger, someone they had only known for a few weeks. While this was a far cry from the woman who was sent to rehab, there was something still between them; something keeping them apart and it needed to be sorted out. He stepped in, taking action and thanking the doctor.

"Thank you as well, for everything. Well I'll be seeing you soon, maybe." He added with a knowing glance regarding the Ryan/Trey/Marissa events that he was eventually going to have to tell Kirsten once arriving in Newport. "You know, I'm really thirsty. Why don't we go and get coffee on a detour home?" He added, finding an excuse to talk to Kirsten properly before arriving home.

"Yeah sure, honey. I'll just go and pack my things. Thank you so much Dr. Simmons. Goodbye then."

* * *

An hour later they pulled up outside an upmarket little coffee shop. Stepping out of the car, Sandy opened the door and gently pulled Kirsten up never letting go of her hand as they entered the café.

Kirsten sat down at the table opposite Sandy. Words leapt to her mouth but before she spoke she realised they were questions about work, the boys and everyone else – but not about them. _When had things gotten like this?_ She thought to herself. They fell back into silence as she looked around and noticed all the couples exactly like her. Couples wearing their flash wedding rings sparkling along with the china and eating without any conversation. _How come we can't speak to each other about us? Is it because we are so comfortable with each other and can read each other's thoughts? Or is it because after a certain point, there is nothing left to say?_ She hoped it was the first but a niggling feeling indicated that there was a chance it was the latter. Before the atmosphere could get any colder she announced.

"Sandy, can we just get out of here?"

He nodded in agreement and walked out the door with Kirsten in tow. They continued along until they arrived at a small reserve on the edge of the beach, secluded and private. He turned towards her, staring deep into her eyes and in that moment, the strangest thing happened. Suddenly Kirsten and Sandy flipped and instead of pushing each other away they were on the same side. Once again they felt young yet at the same time they felt old and were marvelling at how they had walked so far in such a short period of time. All of a sudden it didn't matter to Kirsten that he had spent all that time with Rebecca and that Sandy had questioned her relationship with Carter. _He did what he thought was right, just as I did, and I can't fault him for that._

"You know, 5 minutes ago I would have said that we needed a serious talk but somehow it doesn't feel like that anymore." Sandy started off.

"I know, it's like… we finally understand each other. I think that we've finally gotten over everything."

"And I'm so glad. I've really missed you, you know that?"

"Yea, I've missed you too. You have no idea how lonely it got there. Just thinking that you are so far away but even if you came things would still feel slightly detached."

"I'd just sit at home at times and wonder what you were doing, knowing that right now I was completely powerless. I mean, most of the times in my life I had at least some control, some way to make you feel better but all through this I've felt so helpless, so useless."

"But you're not. There's the thing, you think that you're useless but really it's the opposite. You know, some days when it felt like it was just too tough I used to think that if I got through this day I would be one step closer to repairing our marriage; one step closer to you, and that was enough to motivate me. That's more than anyone else did for me."

"You deserve it, you deserve a whole lot more from me and I'm sorry for everything that I've neglected; everything that you should have got but I never gave."

"Apology accepted but it wasn't necessary. Just being with me is enough, Sandy. Just knowing that I can come home to you, can spend the night in your arms is more than I've ever wanted in life. This last year gave me such a fright, nearly losing you…"

"You never came close, honey."

"Well it sure felt like it. But that doesn't matter to me anymore. Right now I want to focus on the good things, like you and me because that definitely is better than okay."

"I love you so much. You know that, right?"

"I sure do, not that I'll ever tire of hearing it. I love you too."

They stood there in an embrace, finally completely comfortable in each other's presence. There were no evil demons lurking beneath, no questionable feelings nagging at them. Right now they were perfectly fine and deeply in love. As time passed the gently broke from the hug and wandered over to a bench overlooking the ocean. Sitting down, Kirsten leant against him and while he patted down her hair, she responded to Sandy.

"I've missed these moments."

"Oh me too, baby. I'm so glad that we're together now."

"Yea… This is how it's meant to be."

"Really?" He said with a slight mock in his tone.

"Sandy!"

She spun around on his lap so that she was straddling him.

"So you're saying that you'd rather be somewhere else?" She said, continuing on their playful banter.

"Well it depends what I'd be missing out on here."

"Uhuh?" She replied with her eyebrows raised.

"But if you were to…"

Before he could finish his sentence, Kirsten cut him off silencing him with her mouth upon his. Her hands gently grazed his sides as the reached above his shoulders pulling him towards her and deeper into their kiss.

"You know, when we get home the boys are going to want to do a lot with you. So for a while we might not have as much time to ourselves." He murmured in between their kisses.

"I know; I'm making the most of this moment. What did you think I was doing?" She asked rhetorically

"Something along those lines, just keep doing it…" He mused, loving every moment of it.

_**

* * *

Okay so basically if you want to I can continue it, I would like to see how she reacts to the whole shooting thing and maybe bring up the abortion but only if you guys want… it's all up to you! Please review!**_


	9. Final Surprises

_**Okay so I'm pretty sure that this will be the last chapter, sorry but I don't think I can get much more out of it. I'm sure that if something comes up I can incorporate it into it, even maybe about selling The Newport Group?**_

**

* * *

Final Surprises**

They were headed down the Californian coast in Sandy's new convertible. The breeze rushed through Kirsten's hair as she turned to Sandy beaming.

"I've never felt this free in a long time. I love the new car!" She shouted at Sandy on top of the noise created by the wind.

"Well I had to have something to keep my mind off you; just like you re-modelled the house over the last summer."

"It's a good thing you didn't re-model your old car, that could have turned out quite interesting!" She laughed, imagining the thought.

"How do you know that, I might be quite handy with a… with whatever mechanics use!" He retorted realising his lack of knowledge in that area.

"Uhuh?" She raised an eyebrow mockingly as Sandy kept his eyes on the road ahead. He smiled as he turned the music up and began to sing along before he was interrupted by the ring of his mobile. Reaching down he pulled it up recognising the number as the boys at home.

"Hello?"

"Oh hey Dad, it's me" Seth's voice rang out on the other line.

"Hey son. Guess who's coming back home with me?" Kirsten smiled sweetly as she thought of the prospect of seeing her boys again. They were about to start senior year, this definitely wouldn't be one to miss, I'm sure there'll be enough drama to keep them busy she thought as Sandy continued on the phone.

"Mom? Woah she's finally coming home, that's awesome. Well I was ringing to see if you minded if Ryan and I went out with the girls tonight, something about celebrating the end of the summer, but we really should be home."

"Actually it would probably be better if you just waited until the morning. Your mom will need to get settled in and get used to Newport life again. Since she's been away there's heaps to catch up on, you know how fast this town moves."

Seth finally caught his drift when he remembered that Kirsten hadn't been told about the Ryan/Trey/Marissa scenario. "That sounds great; we can make it extra special for tomorrow morning. I hope it all goes well."

"Thanks. You two have a good night, we'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye. Oh and say hi to Mom for me... wait and Ryan says hi to her too."

"Bye."

He hung up the phone as he turned to Kirsten briefly. "The boys say hi, they are just going out with the girls tonight to celebrate the end of the summer or something along those lines."

"They aren't going to be there when we get home?" She questioned, obviously disappointed. "I was looking forward to seeing them, it's been so long, I just miss them so much."

"Honey, they miss you too. It's just they only have one last chance at everything now, I don't want them to miss out on anything. Besides, you know how fast the gossip mill runs and since you've been gone for a couple of months you have no idea what's gone on."

"Good point, I can't wait to hear what the latest Newport calamities have been, unexpected and outrageous as usual I'm guessing?"

"You have no idea. But I'll tell you once we get home, once we are in Newport to make the scene right. You know, Newport gossip in our Newport house…" He started rambling, trying to cover up the information he was eventually going to bring down on her.

"Sandy, are you sure everything is okay? You're rambling which usually means you're trying to hide something."

"Oh sweetie it's just because I'm excited you're coming home. You have no idea how much I've been wanting this."

"And you think that I wanted to stay in rehab?"

"True, I guess it's just been so long that once the day has finally arrived it's a big deal for me."

"I know what you mean, I'm so glad I'm coming home. Our own room, our own bed, even our own high thread-count sheets!"

"You really are a Newpsie aren't you?"

"A lovable one though?"

"Definitely, to me at least!"

* * *

They carried on their playful banter for the whole of the trip home. Once they arrived at the Cohen casa they made their way to the front door where Sandy opened it as Kirsten stepped forwards inside and a smile crept upon her face as she revelled in the familiarity of her house, her home. Carrying her bags he led her to their bedroom where she instantly lay on their bed just staring at the ceiling while she reached over to grab a photo of them on the bedside table. Carefully scrutinising it she noticed the twinkle in Sandy's eyes, his hands firmly but lovingly encasing hers around her hips. Their smiles matched as they stared deeply into each other oblivious to the fact that their photo was being taken.

She was snapped out of her daze as she felt the bed dip as Sandy sat down next to her. He gently pulled her up to a sitting position similar to his and started stroking her hair down as she leant into his touch. They sat their silent for a moment until Kirsten spoke.

"So, what's been up in Newport recently?"

"Well there was one main thing." He started seriously. "When we were in Miami Marissa offered to keep an eye out for Trey and while she was doing this he tried to rape her."

Kirsten gasped at the thought of such a horrendous thing but remained silent, unable to find the right words for the scenario.

"She didn't want Ryan to find out and neither did Trey for obvious reasons, I mean of course he would want to kill him. And they did well but eventually Marissa told Summer who told Seth who then told Ryan."

"When was this?" She whispered hoarsely.

"The night you checked into Suriak. When Ryan found out he headed straight for Treys to 'settle things once and for all' as he said to Seth. Seth still level headed called Marissa hoping that she would be able to stop him as she was closer to him than they were. She rushed over to Trey's place only to witness Ryan underneath Trey as he was being strangled with a telephone ready to be smashed into his head."

She gasped again as the tears began to stream down her face.

"She tried to pull him off but he refused. She saw a gun on the floor and realised that the only way she could stop him from killing Ryan was to shoot him so she did."

"She shot Trey?" She questioned, shocked and flabbergasted but the news that she had just heard.

"Yes."

Another moment passed before she slowly got up and started walking away.

"Baby, where are you going?"

"I don't need alcohol Sandy but right now I think I need to be alone."

"Kirsten, if you're locking yourself in the wardrobe I'm coming with you."

She stared at him questioningly before nodding.

* * *

They sat in the darkness as Sandy protectively wrapped his arms around pulling her closer to him. She leant backwards into him resting her head on the top of his chest as she felt his breath hot upon her neck. He gently wiped away her tears as he soothingly whispered in her ear.

"Do you want to know the rest?"

She nodded as he carried on his story.

"Well Trey didn't die, he was in a coma for most of the summer right up until the end of it, he woke up about 5 days ago. All through the summer the case dragged on, the D.A was convinced that Marissa was covering for Ryan considering his record. When Trey woke up they just hoped that he could tell the police the real story and everything would go away. But, with Julie being Julie she had to intervene. She went to Trey and bribed him to tell the police that Ryan shot him, and he did. It was only until Marissa paid him a visit at the hospital that he changed his statement and they let Ryan go."

"Let him go?"

"Because Trey had said that Ryan shot him, he had been put in jail. Thank goodness that Marissa did what she did otherwise Ryan would still be in prison. The thing is though, at Harbour the parents didn't exactly want Ryan and Marissa attending, they filled a petition and a new dean of discipline was appointed who went through their records and expelled Marissa but not Ryan. Sadly, Ryan punched the dean when he wouldn't let go of Marissa which managed to expel him as well."

"He doesn't go to Harbour?"

"No, I'm thinking of getting him a tutor. I found one, she tutored Styllonne's kids which must mean she's very good. And this doesn't mean that college is out of the question, Ryan has an amazing GPA and his grades are solid, I'm sure he'll be able to pull through."

She sat for a moment in silence, taking the news in. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"The doctors agreed that it probably would hinder your progress there, I just wanted you to get better as fast as you could. And then you could come home and be with us, that's all we wanted."

"And I want to be there for you, show you how much you have done for me."

"Oh honey you don't need to do that, every time I saw you that was enough to help me through."

"But I wanted to share your burden, to actually help you through it. Not in the sense of just being there, I wasn't even there!"

"Kirsten, sweetie, to me the highest priority was you getting better and I had set it in my mind that nothing was going to get in the way of that. This year scared me and I just wanted you to repair yourself so to speak."

"Well I am 'repaired' now and so I am here for you." She paused for a moment before delving deeper into the scenario she was faced with. "How did the boys cope?"

"You know Seth, he tried to make light of the situation as usual but he's matured so much this summer. I think with the loss of you and the realisation that there could be serious consequences dawned on him and he stepped up to the responsibility."

"He didn't lose me… just temporarily misplaced me. Oh Sandy he must think I'm a horrible mum."

"No of course he doesn't. He's always looked up to you and this has just made him realise that no one is perfect, that there is always somewhere where someone will fall down. This was your issue, it's perfectly normal."

"But downing a bottle of vodka everyday isn't normal Sandy."

"I know, I didn't mean the actual actions. It's just that all throughout his life you've lead the perfect life, you've appeared perfect on the outside. While at times I have known that you aren't okay you've managed to make it seem like you are to everyone else and this just made him realise that you are human, that you do have feelings and you do have faults."

"How do you manage to turn everything around like that?" She said sweetly, leaning against his chest.

"It's all part of my charm."

She paused for another while before continuing. "So, how's Ryan coping with all of this? Are he and Marissa still going out?"

"From what I know they are. At one point he had turned even more silent and reserved than usual but I guess after Trey left he realised his place in this family and with Marissa. It's seemed to all work out for the best."

"Even though he and Marissa got expelled from Harbour?"

"He will get by, I'm sure with the new tutor that he'll be able to keep his grades up and we will make sure that he gets into college, he has so much potential."

"Yea he does. You know, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we didn't take Ryan in, or if Theresa didn't lose the baby. I know it's selfish but I can't imagine life without him now. I mean Seth wouldn't have developed this much and while Newport would have been quite a bit less eventful, he's just seemed to piece everything together, like we were just waiting for him to arrive and complete our lives."

"It's like as if he's modified our pieces in a good way so that everything fits, because it definitely feels as if he was born into this family."

"Yea… I wouldn't have it any other way."

She allowed Sandy to fully encompass her body with his arms as he pulled her closer in an embrace. Just basking in the moment they let time pass slowly as they revelled in the touch of each other, the closeness that they has missed out on for so long. The tears started to well up in her throat as she began to quietly snuffle.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Sandy, there's something I should have told you a long time ago. You're going to hate me for this."

Slightly scared at what we might hear, he urged her on. "Hate you for what?"

Gripping his arms tighter, she enveloped herself in him in a security embrace. "I… I had… an abortion." She lowered her head as the tears began to stream down her face.

Curling up into a ball she allowed Sandy's hands to drop from their position around her as he took the information in.

Sitting there in shock he stared straight ahead his mind filling of questions, when? Where? Why? And most of all, whose?

With her head bent down low and her arms wrapped tightly around herself she began to weep openly and the sobs shook her body.

Snapping back into reality he noticed Kirsten sitting there in a state. His arm gently trailed up her back as he tried to console her.

"You hate me Sandy don't you? You hate me!" Her screams became shriller as she faced the prospect she was verbalising.

Soothingly he whispered while rubbing her back. "Of course not honey. I just need to know the details. Whose baby was it?"

She gulped inwardly before answering his question fearing the rage he would inevitably feel afterwards. "Yours."

Time stopped as it dawned on Sandy while his head dropped as he quietly got up.

"Don't leave me Sandy! Oh you hate me, I knew you would!"

"I'm not leaving you, just moving closer to you." He sat bat down again next to where Kirsten lay curled up in a ball and once again went to wrap his arms protectively around her. She fell back into him as she let her tears seep through his shirt. "When was it?"

She breathed another sharp inwards breath before continuing. "You know how we had a small… well break kind of. It was just after that. I suppose I must have gotten pregnant before we broke up."

"So you terminated the baby in the 2 weeks that we were broken up for?"

"No, I didn't know by then but I would have if I had known. When we got back together Sandy, everything was great. I was still too young to settle down and to be honest I didn't want to. I didn't want anything spoiling what we already had, and I suppose part of me was afraid that the same thing would happen and we would break up. I guess I was just immature."

"Kirsten, you're right, you were too young, even I was too young but I'm sure we would have been fine. Have you told anyone else?"

"No, well my mother knew but no one else, I didn't want you to find out like you had about the Jimmy kiss. I'm so sorry, I know you must hate me but I'm sorry."

"Thank you." He paused before continuing. "Honey, don't be sorry. What's done is done, we can't take it back so don't dwell on it. Of course I don't hate you, it's impossible for me to hate you. I can't say that I wasn't shocked at your revelation but I am definitely not mad with you. Kirsten, I love you and nothing can change that. What I've realised over the past year is that even if anything happened I would still love you because you are a good person and you love me, that's all that I could ever hope for. Sure you've made a few mistakes but this isn't one. The only mistake you made here was not telling me, I hate to think that you've lived with this burden for over 20 years. And just think, if you didn't have that abortion we probably wouldn't have had Seth and think how much you'd be missing out on!"

"Yea, that's been my mantra the whole time. Thank you for understanding. I love you."

"I love you too. Now do you think you're reading to face the world, or at least sleep?"

"Yea, I think we've made the most of the wardrobe… well almost." She hinted with a smile.

"But for now I think we should get to bed, it's getting late."

"Thanks, for everything Sandy. I'm so lucky to have you."

"Right back at you." He lifted her up and gently carried her to bed where he placed her underneath the covers. He returned to his side and hopped in next to her as she pulled herself up to him resting her head on his chest. He began stroking the top of her hair placing fluttering kisses along where his hand had followed. Her breathing steadied as she drifted off to sleep and Sandy joined her moments later. They lay there entwined as they finally slept together in the complete comfort of one another knowing that they had talked through their entire problem, that they had finally no ground between them, they were together again.

**_Thanks everyone who has been reading this and especially those who have been reviewing! I'm now working on a Kandy at Berkeley fic which should be coming up soon, at the moment it's just little odd chapters so I''ll have to get on to that. Thanks again!_**


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